Intention
by Mii-Sama
Summary: Matt's thoughts on Mello's death as he walks through an otherwise.


**Disclaimer**: I do not own Death Note.

For my Raito fanfic reviewers, thank you! Now I know my life is 1/10 not a lie! Also, if I make so many of these that they become cliche-ish, I just wanted to show everyone's point of view, so, sorry about that...

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_**... What have we done?...**_

_**... If only I could've shown you how it should have been...**_

_**... It shouldn't have ended this way...**_

_**... Why?...**_

_**... I tried my best...**_

_**... Good bye...**_

_**... For now...**_

A tall young man with red hair and goggle-like glasses leaned on the corner of a department store, lighting a cigarette.

After inhaling the toxic fumes, he breathed out anguish, agony and pain. The rising smoke was overfilled with suffering and self hate, despite the heavy rainfall.

he started to think and breathed out again.

_'... Mello..._

_(Silence)_

_...What have we done?..._

_...What have we done?..._

_(Silence)_

_... Was what we did..._

_...Wrong?..._

_... Was I wrong?..._

_... I was just after Kira..._

_... Kira..._

_... For you..._

_... Mello..._

_...Now look at you..._

_...You're dead now..._

_... Mello..._' the boy's head lowered as he huffed out the smoke.

As it rose, in the young man's eyes, he could see the image of a blonde young man with a large scar looming over the right side of his face, showing perfectly the outcome of his self hatred.

_'Mello..._

_... I tried, Mello..._

_... I tried..._

_... Guess that wasn't enough for you...' _he allowed his foot to fall and looked up at the smoke, hands in his coat pockets.

_'... Was it?..._

he turned and walked away.

_... Mello..._

_... If there were a way to make this all up to you..._

_... I'd take it..._

_... Damn that Kira..._

_... Hmm..._

_Misa was pretty hot..._

_... I'll miss her..._

_... Ah, Mello..._

_... You were never into girls too much..._

_... I admired that..._

_... I always wanted to be like you..._

_...That was how I intended to be..._

_... A copy of Mello..._

_... I don't like chocolate much, though..._

_No matter how much I tried..._

_... I wanted to like it..._

_... I wanted to like it just as much..._

_... As you..._

_... Heh heh..._

_... I guess I always wanted to be like you..._

_... Ever since we were in the orphanage..._

_... You know, Mello?_

_I always wanted to tell you this..._

_... I never really meant for you to end up this way..._

_... I wanted to stop you..._

_... I wanted to stop you from doing something like this..._

_... If only I could've shown you how it should've been..._

_... I wanted you to be happy, too..._

_... You said that the only way you'd ever be happy is if you caught Kira..._

_... Caught him and had the Death Note..._

_... I never wanted it to end up this way..._

_... Never..._

_... I just wanted for you to be happy..._

_(Silence)_

_... It shouldn't have ended this way..._

_... Not this way..._

_... Nothing should end this way..._

_(Silence)_

_... Do you remember how it was in the orphanage?_

_... How we knew that our parents were dead?_

_... Should kids have known their parents were dead?_

_(Silence)_

_... Is that why you're like this, Mello?_

_... We all had no parents... _

_Now most of us..._

_... Are dead..._

_... L..._

_... I knew how much you idolized him..._

_... I could tell..._

_... By the way you looked at him..._

_... It was the exact way I looked..._

_... When I looked at you...'_

He pauses and drops the cigarette, allowing the flame to glow as the wind blew at it. He stared at it.

_... Do you see that, Mello?_

_... That is what you'll never have..._

_... That is what you long for..._

_... It's something that makes me different from you..._

_The thing I want to be gone...'_

The wind blew out the cigarette.

_'... It's a tiny flicker of hope, Mello..._

_... I wonder..._

_... If you had just one flicker..._

_...Would you still be the same?..._

_... Even if it were for a tiny second..._

_... Would you understand it after the wind faded it?_

_(Silence)_

_... Why?...' _he began to cry.

_'Why did it have to end this way?..._

_... Why couldn't it have been..._

_... Near? ...'_

He stopped crying and regained his posture.

_'... Near..._

_... You hated him so..._

_... Or did you?..._

_... Did you really hate him, Mello? ..._

_(Silence)_

_... I would have killed him... _

_... Just for you..._

_... We were so close, too..._

_... So close..._

_... No matter how many times I can delude myself in a game, I can't make it real..._

_I can't be you, Mello..._

_... But I can help you..._

_At least..._

_... I tried..._

_... I tried..._

_... I tried my best...'_

He looked up as he stopped in front of a door. He knocked at the door and waited a few seconds.

A tall, thin woman opened the door, smiling as she looked at him.

"Welcome home, Mail," her eyes softened.

The boy looked up at her, the rain falling down hard.

He smiled back at her and stepped towards her, embracing her in a hug.

"I'm glad to finally be home... Mom..." He said to her and she went inside.

Mail stood outside and shields his eyes from the rain and sun beams of the solar rain. The raining began to lessen and Mail lingered. As he thought his last thoughts, he walked inside.

_-_

_-_

_-_

_-_

_-_

_-_

_-_

_-_

_-_

_-_

_... Good bye, Mello..._

_... For now..._

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